You're at the highway and your speedometer reads unusual and it's raining so reckless that the wind shield seems to be washed away by the angry rain drops. You are guiding the steering wheel with great confidence, might and precision. You step on the gas with disgust as if its a merciless insect biting on your sored feet and for a split second you animatedly feel that nothing can stand in your way, that you are invincible, that nothing can hurt you and you believe that you are in some bizarre dream haze where you are the hero who just saved and counquered the world. You are ecstatic and think you can float away, but then for the other half of a second, you suddenly slam to something solid, which you damn swear was not there.
Then the headlights dies, the engine gives a funny snorting noise, the side windows shatter and shower you and anything bare with broken glasses. The impact is so strong that the gray firm seatbelt snaps and gives up in hugging you back safely into the driver's seat.
There is no point arguing and you can't do anything but to voluntarily agree with the force that is pulling you into a dive out.
Then you are standing somewhere, confuse and curious.
Your eyes catch some movements and you see yourself from afar, in slow awkward motion. Your face is painted with both sadness and content, like a film that is dramatically designed. You see yourself hit the ground, roll a couple of times unguarded and stop with your back on the cold, wet cemented road. The rain jumps out from nowhere into your whole fragment body, playing in your face, mocking and crying on you.
You want to run to yourself but you can't move.
Then suddenly you are lying.
Then pain comes, crawling inside you, creeping within every inch that it can reach to - pain that is unbearable that you think you are going to burst. You want to open your lips to scream or just even to whisper, but you can't. There is no chance and no choice but to look at the sky which is covered with thick curtains of angry clouds staring back at you.
You want to stand up but you can't move.
You just look at the sky, eyes almost closed. Then you realise something and though you can't barely sum up what is happening, tears started to roll from your eyes. You ask yourself if it's the rain, or is it because of the pain or... something else.
One thing drops back to your half awake mind. Something much worse than the pain that is eating your sanity away.
There is a small window.
A small square window trap in a white scratchy door.
You are desperately peeking because you can't turn the cold knob to open the freaking door.
You are agitated, thousands of things running through your head.
Despite that, you fight badly to stay calm.
You know there's hope. You just need to wait. There is always hope and everything will be okay. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel and again, you just need to wait. You keep on repeating and convincing your restless mind.
You sit on one of the white visitor's chair lined up along the hall and tap your dusty sneakers on the floor which is covered with dirty white uneven tiles. You gently lean forward and slowly cover your taunted face with your rough hands.
You hear some footsteps and raise your head. An old looking male stops at the third room to the right of the one you are guarding. He opens the door but doesn't step inside.
A slender lady with dark hair, probably on her late twenties, taller than the doctor, steps out.
"I'm sorry mam, we need to talk to you in a matter of urgency." His voice sounds tired but with warm conviction. "If you could follow me please."
She doesn't say anything and just follows.
As you see the two figure disappear from the corner you decide that waiting will not help your mind. You might need to get few cigarettes.
You stand up and walk to the window to look inside again and just to signal to them that you'll take a quick smoke.
But when you reach the door, you see that there seems like a fight going inside.
There on the bed lying is a girl and several unknown masked people are hovering at her, in panick, signaling to eachother and plugging cords here and there while muttering senseless words.
On the left side, there is a white medium monitor which is being checked by one them. The screen shows a black gray background with green and red lines ecstatically moving up and down. The movements are fast at first. Upward, downward, upward, downward, then it slows to a curve, like a hill. Ugly hill. That continue for few seconds until such time that the lines probably grow tired and decides to stay put - a perfect straight line.
No! Eyes wide, you reach for the knob and try to open the door, but it's locked.
You scream for the people inside to open the door. You slam and bang on it like a mad man. They continue on what they are doing and after like ages, everybody defeated, bow down. Then one of them, a dark skinned woman, without removing her white mask, opens the door.
The moment the door open, you stop shouting. You don't know why but the rage inside you falters, but fear replaces it. You feel extremely scared, like a child alone in a middle of a desserted long dark tunnel.
You just stand there looking at the motionless figure lying on the bed.
You ask yourself, where is hope.
Where is fucking hope here?
This is not hope, there is no hope, nor any flickering damn light ahead.
You don't notice the woman who opened the door is saying something, her mask now removed and hanging on her ivory neck.
You are just shaking your head and not hearing a single word she is saying.
Your mind is slowly slipping away.
No. This is not true. No. This is not happening. No. This not happening. No. No. No!
You abruptly turn and run. The woman shouts at your back but you don't care nor you even notice.
You can't remember how you got in your car. Next thing you know is that you are at the highway, lying on the ground.
